Managing the Holiday Season with ADHD and Autism
Juggling busy schedules, social gatherings, and the push to keep up with festive traditions all amp up the stress. Whilst a happy season, the holidays can be challenging for ADHDers and Autists. It's a time when everything seems to move at a faster pace, and staying afloat can feel like you’re on a hamster wheel.
This guide is about understanding the challenges many neurodivergents face and finding practical ways to handle them, so you can still have fun without feeling overwhelmed by the holiday chaos.
Understanding Energy Boundaries
Christmas brings social and work engagements plus added expectations that can quickly exceed our natural energy limits. The key to preventing burnout is to set energy boundaries.
Energy management refers to understanding and respecting our mental, emotional, and social capacity from day to day. We all have natural energy boundaries that dictate our limits, though, for neurodivergent people, these boundaries tend to be more fluid and easily crossed when obligations mount.
The first step in managing festive energy starts with tuning into our needs with curiosity and self-compassion. Check in with yourself: realistically, how much social time can I handle today while still feeling grounded? Gentle check-ins prevent pushing yourself to exhaustion.
As you’re invited to more festive gatherings, pause frequently and assess what you genuinely have space for. Accept that saying “no” allows you to be more fully present for the events you do choose. When feeling stretched thin, simplify and pare down unnecessary sensory inputs, distractions, and interactions so your energy best serves your values. Build in buffer time for restorative activities like light exercise, enjoyable hobbies, or connection with supportive people. You deserve joy and rest this season too.
Energy Management to Prevent Burnout
The high activity and expectations of the festive season often mean added stress on our brain’s executive function - the mental skills used to manage and regulate behaviours, emotions, and thoughts.
The stress Christmas places on executive functioning can be further compounded by interactions with "energy vampires" - people who may exploit the empathetic and people-pleasing tendencies of those with ADHD and Autism. This can lead to increased burnout as we overextend ourselves in trying to meet the needs and expectations of others, in an already demanding season.
To effectively manage these challenges, pacing out our energy expenditure is required to consciously allocate our attention to different tasks and social interactions. Examples of pacing systems, such as Spoon Theory and Energy Accounting, can help provide more clarity and control.
Spoon Theory offers a helpful visual metaphor for conceptualising daily energy units. It’s the idea that we wake up with limited energy and we have to strategically manage how we use it. This framework encourages checking in frequently about available "spoons" (i.e. energy) for activities and pacing accordingly. The more “spoons” required for a task, the more energy it takes up. Take some time to reflect on how many “spoons” you need each day.
Energy Accounting is a concept developed by an autistic writer and advocate, Maja Toudal. It is a way to systematically track what activities drain or replenish your energy bank. When an energy withdrawal is made, energy deposits have to be made in order to prevent the account from running into overdraft and a meltdown occurring. For instance, attending a crowded event could drain your energy, but spending time with your best friend gives you energy.
Getting familiar with your limits and knowing your energy budget makes it easier to set boundaries and balance commitments.
Managing Energy Levels During the Festive Season
Don’t let the holiday excitement and festivities overshadow the daily routines that help manage your condition. A good diet, regular exercise, and dedicated self-care practices are fundamental to maintaining balance despite the holiday rush.
Here are some additional steps for managing your festive energy:
Prioritise Activities: Choose holiday events and tasks that are most meaningful to you and align with your energy levels. It's okay to skip some activities to conserve energy for those you truly enjoy.
Schedule Downtime: Actively plan for quiet time amidst the hustle. Rest is essential.
Communicate Needs: Be open with friends and family about your limitations. Expressing your energy needs helps them understand and support you.
Delegate Responsibilities: Don’t hesitate to ask for help or delegate tasks. Sharing the load can significantly reduce stress and energy drain.
Mindful Nutrition and Sleep: Pay attention to your diet and sleep patterns. The holiday season often disrupts regular eating and sleeping habits.
Pace Alcohol: Prevent overindulging by alternating alcoholic drinks with water or other non-alcoholic drinks.
Relaxation Practices: Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or light exercise into your routine to help manage stress levels.
Establish Exit Strategies: When attending events, have a plan for a graceful exit if things become too overwhelming.
Focus on Enjoyment, Not Perfection: Release the pressure to create a perfect holiday experience. Focus on activities that bring joy rather than striving for an idealised version of the holidays.
It’s important to be comfortable with declining invitations or requests that might overextend your energy. By being mindful of your energy boundaries and implementing the above, you can enjoy the festive season in a way that’s fulfilling and manageable.
Dealing With Sensory Overload
For neurodivergents, we are prone to feeling overwhelmed, and the heavy sensory stimulation of the holidays doesn’t help. Between bustling shopping centres decked out in sparkling lights, carols blasting through every speaker, and jampacked gatherings with everyone chattering loudly over food and drink— it’s all too much for our nervous systems.
Rather than waiting until you’ve reached a meltdown to take action, be proactive with self-care to prevent crossing that threshold in the first place.
Invest in noise-cancelling headphones to mute audible chaos in the workspace, tinted glasses to dim bright lights, portable fidget items to keep hands busy, and any other aids that support regulation in high-stim contexts.
Identify potential refuge spaces for taking sensory breathers during social marathons and have breaks in your calendar, just as you would any other appointment.
When out and about, stick to brief time chunks at crowded venues before indulging sensory relief. If energy starts flagging, step away to a quiet corner, take some deep belly breaths, listen to calming music, or use other tools to reboot before rejoining. Get comfortable with politely declining invitations when self-care takes priority.
Avoiding the Splurge and Gifts Overwhelm
The excitement and stimulation of the holiday season often intensifies ADHD tendencies like overspending and impulse purchases. By planning ahead, budgeting thoughtfully, and getting creative, we can avoid the overwhelm with spending and deciding on gifts.
Start by reflecting on past seasons to identify your spending pitfalls. Develop a realistic overall budget that covers expected holiday costs like food and decorations alongside gifts.
Making a gift list ahead of time helps maintain focus and prevent impulse splurges. Note recipient-specific budget limits with gift ideas sized accordingly and refer back often to avoid overspending.
When shopping in stores, stick to relevant aisles and sections on your list to prevent tangential temptation browsing. Alternatively, consider online shopping which avoids overstimulating environments and enables easy price comparisons to prevent overspending.
By honouring your goals and boundaries amidst the commercial buzz, you can thoughtfully shop for gifts without overstretching resources or energy.
You Are Not Alone
Christmas can be challenging on mental health, but managing your energy, being smart with your holiday activities and having a good self-care routine can really make a difference. It's all about making the season enjoyable without feeling overwhelmed.
It's important to acknowledge that Christmas can be a lonely time for many too, particularly those who need to step back from the festive chaos or who may not be blessed to have close family or friends. If you find yourself going through a hard time during this period, there is support during the festive period:
Samaritans (always open)
Mind (9am - 6pm weekdays)
Family Action (9am - 9pm weekdays)
The Mix Charity for Under 25s (4pm - 11pm weekdays)
Papyrus: Prevention of Young Suicide (always open)
Campaign Against Living Miserably (5pm - midnight, 365 days a year)
StepChange (8am - 8pm weekdays, 9am - 2pm Saturday)
Cruse Helpline (9.30am - 5pm or 8pm varying, weekdays)
The Silver Line (always open)
The festive season brings joy but also challenges for those with ADHD and autism. If the holidays feel daunting, remember there is support available. You're not alone on this journey.