Preventing Burnout During the Holidays with ADHD & Autism

The smell of pine trees and gingerbread, twinkling lights, and cheerful music all around…it's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But for many of us, the holidays are stressful, with disruptions to our daily routines, endless to-do lists, and sensory overload. For neurodivergent individuals, the holidays often put extra pressure on executive functions (the skills that help us plan, organise, and manage day-to-day life).

Maybe you’re looking at your calendar and wondering how you’re ever supposed to fit in shopping, cooking, and social events all while keeping up with everyday life. Or the thought of running into crowds or unpredictable family gatherings makes your heart race.

It can feel like you’re constantly trying to keep your balance, holding on to structure while everything around you feels unpredictable.

In this blog post, I’ll share some strategies to help you manage these hurdles, preserve your energy, and lift some weight from your shoulders. These will help you approach challenges with flexibility and self-compassion.

Before we start, keep one thing in mind: You don’t have to try out everything. Doing just one or two small things can already make the holidays feel a bit more manageable, and hopefully even enjoyable.

1. You don’t have to do it all

One of the biggest sources of holiday stress is the feeling that you have to do everything. Attend every event, meet everyone’s demands, and make everything magical. When we do too much, give, think, take on, or care too much, this gradually builds up and contributes to burnout. The truth is, nobody can do it all, and that’s completely okay.

Instead, try focusing on what matters to you. Is it spending time with certain people? Maintaining a quiet morning routine? Choose one or two priorities and let the rest go.

Even if the decorations aren’t perfect or you skip a few events, sometimes, doing less is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

2. Plan and organise with flexibility

Planning can feel overwhelming, especially during the holidays when everything feels up in the air. Give these a go:

Keep a visual planner or a simple checklist to help you stay on track. Write down the top two or three things you want to focus on each day. Even if you don’t check everything off, having a plan can help to get it out of your head.
Stick to clear schedules with predictable time blocks wherever possible. Sharing your plans with loved ones can help reduce last-minute surprises.

Having a planner or checklist as a guide can make the day feel more manageable, but nothing is perfect and as with life, things don’t always go to plan. If things go off track, try to assess situations realistically and make adjustments without self-judgment.

3. Hold on to small routines

The holidays tend to disrupt our normal schedules, but holding on to even a small part of your routine can help keep you grounded.

Stick to a consistent bedtime or morning habit.
Take five minutes for yourself before heading into a busy social situation.
If you usually take a walk in the afternoon, try to fit that in, even if it’s shorter than usual.

4. Saying yes to yourself

It can be hard to say no, especially during the holidays when you’re invited to back-to-back gatherings, asked to host family dinners, or feel pressured to keep up with traditions. A reframe for saying no to others is to think of it as saying yes to yourself. When you say yes to yourself, you’re protecting your energy to prevent burnout.

Politely decline invitations that feel too much by saying something like:
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I need a quiet evening to recharge.”

If you’re at a gathering and feel overwhelmed, allow yourself to leave early.

Setting boundaries is not rude. It’ll allow you to have the energy to show up for the things that matter the most. Practice communicating your needs effectively and whilst it may feel uncomfortable to begin with, once you do it enough times, you’ll get better each time (just like training a muscle).

5. Preventing sensory overload

With the lights, sounds at all the social gatherings, sensory overload can feel inevitable. But there are ways to soften the impact:

Create a “quiet zone” in your home or bring noise-cancelling headphones to events.
Schedule breaks throughout the day to decompress.

If you’re at a holiday gathering and it starts to feel overwhelming, stepping outside for a breath of fresh air or retreating to a quiet space can give you the reset you need.

6. What do I need to prioritise to look after myself?

Check in with yourself and do what you need to feel supported. It could be:

Focusing on your breath. Close your eyes, inhale slowly through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. A few intentional breaths can help reset your mind and release some tension.
Spending ten minutes on something that relaxes you. Whether that’s journaling, stretching, or enjoying a hot drink.
Going for a short walk outside. Short breaks of fresh air can help you reset and recharge, especially if the house feels noisy or overwhelming.
Creating a mini sensory escape. Light a candle with a soothing scent, listen to calming music, or wrap yourself in a soft blanket for a few minutes to help ground yourself.
Pausing for gratitude. Reflect on one thing you’re grateful for that day, no matter how small. It could be a kind word, a moment of peace, or even a warm cup of tea.

Speaking from my own experience as someone with ADHD, this time of year can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions. There could be moments when everything feels too much. Be kind to yourself. Find small ways to make it a little easier, a little lighter, and a little more joyful.

Even if you only take one or two of these tips on board, you’re still setting your own rules. And that’s something to celebrate.